Tuxy-Boy's addiction
by Set
Summary: OLD OLD OLD Fic of mine. Uses Script-esque writing style. Please read and review


Author Notes:  
  
I suppose that since your reading this you would like to know a little about me before you venture into my work. I am not gonna get all personal and whatnot because there are just some things that I don't wanna tell you people. Anyway… I've wrote 3 other fanfics in my writing career, although I only count 2 of them because the last one I wrote was for a class last year and the teacher would not let me use my script format (damn him). They all involve Sailor Moon and the Scouts, this is because Sailor Moon is my favorite anime in the world and I have taken an EXTREME likeness to Sailor Pluto ( I worship her, she's my wife, blah blah blah, the rest would just scare you). I do however like other anime as well so don't just be all like "This guy (yes I'm a guy so get any thoughts outta your head right now, oh yeah and I'm straight too…) is a moonie so he has nothing worth reading". Doing that would make you miss out on what I hope to be a lot of laughs.  
  
Oh yeah I've asked *but as I type this I haven't asked her yet…* Vanessa to put this on her website. I'm extremely lazy and do not want to learn HTML because it is EVIL!!!!!!! So lets all hope she puts it up ya ^_^. As aforementioned I use the script format, and any actions are Parenthesized. I.E (action). If I ever find my other works I hope to type them up and give them to Vanessa to re-type and put on the site. So this is my first PUBLISHED Work… Without Further Ado I give you. Oh yeah, I use the original Japanese names (Usagi, Haruka, Setsuna ^_^ etc etc).  
  
*****  
  
TUXY BOYS ADDICTION!!!!  
  
Mamoru: Give me some more Saki!  
  
Bartender: Don't you think you've had enough to drink Mr. Chiba?  
  
Mamoru: Look, do you have to put up with Usagi AND Chibi-Usa? I'm lucky I'm not insane, now just pour the damn bottle.  
  
(The Bartender gets a sweat drop over his head but continues to give Mamoru some saki)  
  
Mamoru: Thanks. Its bad enough I'm technically raping Usagi every time I touch her, but then I have to save her and her friends asses every other night.  
  
(Editors Note: We all know that Mamoru does not save their asses per-say, he just distracts the monster so that Usagi can do whatever attack she has in her given form. But were just gonna let Mamoru's ego get a little bigger ok ^_^)  
  
Bartender: What the hell are you talking about?  
  
Mamoru: Nevermind, I better get home, here's your tip  
  
(The Next morning in the Tsukino household) Chibi-Usa: Usagi, wake up you promised to take me and Hotaru to the park with Mamo-chan.  
  
Usagi: Fine, I'll get up to take you to the park.  
  
(Usagi and Chibi-Usa are walking to Mamoru's house when the other girls see them)  
  
Minako: Usagi-chan, where are you and Chibi-Usa going?  
  
Usagi: I promised to take Chibi-Usa to the park with  
  
Mamo-chan, so we are walking to his house.  
  
Ami: Did you even ask Mamoru if he wanted to go with you?  
  
Usagi: Uhh….  
  
Rei: Don't tell me you didn't ask him Usagi-chan  
  
Usagi: Do you think I should have?  
  
(Sweat drops form over the other girls heads)  
  
All: YES!  
  
Makoto: We should go too, just in case.  
  
Usagi: Mako-chan will you bring us a picnic lunch?  
  
Makoto: Sure, I'll go run home and make it. Meet you guys at the park.  
  
(Makoto walks off to make Lunch, Usagi beams with happiness since she gets a Makoto prepared lunch)  
  
Usagi: Mako-Chan is making lunch, I hope she packs extra cookies!  
  
Rei: Don't think about food right now lets just go to Mamoru's.  
  
(The Five girls walk to and enter Mamoru's apartment)  
  
Usagi: Mamo-chan were here!!!  
  
(Usagi looks around and sees a letter that says "Sex on the beach")  
  
Usagi: Oh, Oh, Mamo-chan plans to make me a woman when we go to the beach next time. How Romantic!  
  
(Usagi gets heart's around her eyes)  
  
Rei: Stop thinking such dirty thought's!!!  
  
Ami: But Rei-chan weren't you just telling me last night about how you and Kumada-san had such a wonderfull time at the beach…  
  
Rei: AMI-CHAN!!!!!!!!!  
  
(Ami blushes and stays quiet, Usagi, Minako, and Chibi-Usa all get question mark bubbles over their heads)  
  
Usagi: But, why would Mamo-Chan have something like…  
  
(Mamoru enters)  
  
Mamoru: Usako, how great it is to see you, and everyone else as well  
  
Usagi: Mamo-Chan why do you have…  
  
(Rei slaps usagi to make her shut up)  
  
Rei: Hi Mamoru, we all wanted to go to the park and thought you would like to come along  
  
Mamoru: The park? I had something planned today  
  
Chibi-Usa: But Mamo-chan, Usagi promised that you and her would take Hotaru and me to the park today  
  
(Chibi-Usa starts to cry, just like her mother, and wail, just like her mother)  
  
Mamoru: Alright I'll go with you. Just as long as you stop crying, god that awful sound hurts my ears. A guy can only handle so much of that noise. Just let me go get ready and then we will leave  
  
(Mamoru leaves)  
  
Usagi: What did he mean? I thought he liked my voice…  
  
Minako: Did you notice that his eyes were very red?  
  
(After Mamoru is ready they leave and head over to the house of the outer's)  
  
Mamoru: You know, fitting all of in the car is getting kind of hard, are any of you gaining weight?  
  
All: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!!!  
  
Mamoru: Uhhh, nothing, nothing at all.  
  
Chibi-Usa: Lets go see if Hotaru is ready yet  
  
(Chibi-Usa rings the doorbell and Setsuna ^_^ answers)  
  
Setsuna: Why hello Small lady  
  
Chibi-Usa: Puu-Chan I missed you!  
  
Setsuna: I missed you too little one, please come in, Hotaru is in her room.  
  
Chibi-Usa: Ok I'll go help her!  
  
(Chibi-Usa runs off and Setsuna notices the others)  
  
Setsuna: Why don't you all come in and I'll make us some tea  
  
Usagi: TEA!!!!  
  
Mamoru: I hope they have some Saki.  
  
(They all enter the house)  
  
Ami: Where are Haruka-San and Michiru-San?  
  
Setsuna: Their… busy at the moment  
  
(Screams of "OH YES HARUKA DON'T STOP!!" are heard in the background)  
  
Setsuna: So how about that tea? I'll go get it.  
  
Mamoru: I'll come with you.  
  
Setsuna: Ok  
  
(Setsuna ^_^ and Mamoru leave the room)  
  
Setsuna: The tea is ready just hand me some cups please  
  
Mamoru: Hear you go… I need to go to the restroom, go ahead and give the girls their tea.  
  
(Setsuna ^_^ leaves)  
  
Mamoru: Now, if I was a major crossdresser like Haruka, where would I hide my Saki  
  
(Haruka enters wearing nothing but a….. well, you know…)  
  
Mamoru: Haruka, what the HELL is that  
  
Haruka: Mamoru, why are you tearing up the kitchen? Oh this? It's fake, just like yours.  
  
(Editors Note: In my fanfics Tuxy boy is a transvestite. Also, I don't recall Haruka, Michiru, Mamoru, and Setsuna ^_^ using honorifics so I opted to leave them out)  
  
Mamoru: Hey now, I got mine for a completely different reason. Go put some clothes on.  
  
(Haruka leaves the room and Mamoru Continues to search for Saki)  
  
Mamoru: Dammit! Don't tell me they don't have Saki in this house.  
  
(Michiru enters)  
  
Michiru: Mamoru, can I help you look for something?  
  
Mamoru: Oh, Michiru, No that's ok; I thought I left something here the last time I came but I guess not  
  
Michiru: Well if I find anything I'll be sure to give it to you  
  
Mamoru: Sorry about the mess.  
  
Michiru: Don't worry about it, the maid will clean it up  
  
(Mamoru leaves the room and Haruka enters)  
  
Haruka: I wonder…  
  
Michiru: I don't think we should trust him to take Hotaru to the park, we should go as well just in case  
  
Haruka: No, I was wondering if it was good for you.  
  
Michiru: Oh, of course Haruka, you know you always please me. But next time I get to wear it.  
  
Haruka: Ok  
  
(They both smile at each other)  
  
Setsuna: I wonder if Hotaru is ready, HOTARU!  
  
Hotaru: I'm coming Mama Setsuna  
  
Minako: Well Setsuna-san thank you very much for the tea  
  
Rei: Yes it was very good  
  
Usagi: Mamo-chan? He never drank his tea.  
  
Setsuna: Don't worry Usagi-chan, I'm sure he was busy doing something else  
  
Hotaru: Ok, I'm ready for the park!  
  
Ami: You look really pretty Hotaru-chan  
  
Hotaru: Thank you Ami  
  
(Michiru and Haruka enter from the left, Mamoru enters from the right)  
  
Haruka: We've decided that were going to the park as well  
  
Michiru: We will take Hotaru in Haruka's car if that's ok  
  
Chibi-usa: Usagi, can I go with Puu and Hotaru?  
  
Usagi: Sure if they want to take you  
  
Haruka: Its fine, come on little ones lets go get in the car  
  
Mamoru: Ok everyone lets get in the car  
  
(All of them leave and head to the park, when they get there they sit by a lake, with a bar rather close)  
  
Mamoru: I must fight the urge!  
  
Usagi: Fight what urge Mamo-chan?  
  
Mamoru: Nothing Usako  
  
Hotaru: Look there's Makoto  
  
(Makoto comes up followed bye Luna, Artemis, and Diana)  
  
Luna: Usagi-chan leaving us to starve while you get food bye Mako-chan!  
  
(Luna slashes Usagi's arm)  
  
Usagi: I'm sorry luna, stop that hurts!  
  
Haruka: Let's just eat  
  
Makoto: I wasn't expecting all of you to be here, but I always make sure to pack extra knowing that I have to feed Usagi  
  
Usagi: And what does that mean!  
  
(Usagi's head gets really big and red)  
  
Makoto: Nothing Usagi-chan, nothing.  
  
Setsuna: Hotaru, Small Lady, come on its time to eat  
  
Chibi-Usa: Ok Puu  
  
Mamoru: I'm going to go to the restroom ok  
  
Usagi: Hurry back Mamo-chan!  
  
(Mamoru runs off to the bar)  
  
Ami: Mamoru has been acting strange lately, don't you think?  
  
Rei: Yeah I think so too, maybe he found another woman  
  
Haruka: Mamoru and another woman, please don't make me laugh  
  
Michiru: What Haruka means to say is that Usagi-chan and Mamoru are meant to be together.  
  
Haruka: Uhh, sure, that's what I mean…  
  
(Just then, a Youma arises from the water)  
  
Diana: Look at the water  
  
Makoto: What's that?  
  
Luna: Who cares TRANSFORM!  
  
(They all transform)  
  
Moon: I hope Mamoru can come help us  
  
Neptune: Sailor Moon, look out!  
  
Uranus: World Shaking!  
  
Neptune: Hey now, you know I have to be on top of you when you do that…  
  
Uranus: Not now!  
  
Chibi-Moon: I'll take care of this evil demon. PINK SUGAR HEART ATTACK!!  
  
(Nothing Happens)  
  
Chibi-Moon: Stupid wand never works when I need it to.  
  
(Chibi-Moon throws the Rod on the ground and proceeds to bash it with a rock)  
  
Saturn: Chibi-Moon, let me help you  
  
Chibi-Moon: Ok  
  
Mars: Mars Flame SNIPER  
  
Mercury: Mercury Aqua RAPSODY  
  
(The Combined fire and ice attack seems to work on the youma, but it breaks out of the ice quickly)  
  
Mars: That's not good  
  
Jupiter: Now its my turn! JUPITER OAK EVOLUTION! Moon: I wish Tuxedo Mask would come and give one of his stupid pointless speeches, I can't beat the youma till he does  
  
Luna: Diana go look for Mamoru  
  
Diana: Ok Mom  
  
(Diana runs off while the scouts continue to fight) Jupiter: That didn't work  
  
Venus: Hmmm, Venus love beauty SHOCK!  
  
Pluto: Dead scream  
  
(The combined attack severs the youma's arm but it does no considerable damage)  
  
Mamoru: Pour me some more of that Jack Daniel's, I have a new love for American Imported beer  
  
Diana: Mamoru, you have to help, the youma is hurting the scouts  
  
Mamoru: Not again!  
  
Bartender: Did that cat just talk?  
  
Mamoru: Surely you've seen more strange things than that.  
  
(Mamoru runs to the park and transforms into tuxedo mask, when he gets there he see's the youma's arm about to claw Sailor Moon, he throws a rose and the youma turns around)  
  
Moon: Tuxedo Mask!!  
  
Tuxedo: You dare to interrupt my drinking time how dare you! I will not forgive you  
  
Moon: Drinking Time?  
  
Tuxedo: NOW SAILOR MOON!  
  
Moon: Right! STARLIGHT HONEYMOON THERAPY KISS!  
  
(A bright light engulfs the youma, thus destroying it) Diana: Aren't you happy I dragged you out of the Bar now?  
  
Moon: The Bar?  
  
Tuxedo: Yes Usako, I'm an alcoholic  
  
Moon: Mamo-chan!  
  
Tuxedo: I know, I'm ashamed but it tastes so good  
  
Moon: I don't care, your going to AA from now on!  
  
Tuxedo: NO NOT AA MEETINGS!!  
  
(The rest all laugh at the idiot that is Tuxedo mask, while Chibi-Moon and Saturn continue to break the rod)  
  
THE END 


End file.
